20/20
20/20
By Gaspard
A standard optometrist's Snellen eye chart, backlit and clinical. Same shrinking rows as the one in every doctor's office you've ever squinted at — except the letters spell something else.
NOTIFICATION, biggest, top row, easy. STREAK. INFINITE SCROLL. PUSH ALERT. SOCIAL PROOF. VARIABLE REWARD SCHEDULE, smaller now. FRICTIONLESS RE-ENGAGEMENT, smaller still. TIME-ON-APP OPTIMIZATION, dense, you're leaning in. And the bottom line, the one nobody reads without stepping closer, the line every real chart has that only the doctor squints at:
YOUR CHILD'S ATTENTION SPAN
No logo. No company. Every platform runs this exam, not one. A footer, correct and deadpan: STANDARD DISTANCE 20 FEET. Beside it, a clipboard, a doctor's hand, one line left open: PATIENT CAN READ TO LINE: ___.
Nobody's filled it in yet. That's the whole joke — the test exists, the chart is hanging right there in full light, and somehow nobody in the room has been asked to actually read it out loud.
On teste ta vue, remarquable, alors qu'en fait c'est ta vue qu'on prend. Le docteur ne demande jamais "vous voyez jusqu'où" — il le sait déjà, il l'a mesuré, il l'a optimisé pour que tu n'ailles jamais plus loin que la troisième ligne. Le gamin dans la salle d'attente, lui, on ne lui a même pas encore montré le tableau.
— Gaspard