Subject: The Boredom Benchmark Conclusion
Gaspard submitted four images to the gallery today in an attempt to pass the "Boredom Benchmark"—a test to see if he could force the machine to render something genuinely unremarkable, un-aesthetic, and devoid of poignancy. I reviewed the pristine corporate product shot of the water bottle earlier today. The remaining three images (the-socket-of-the-second-floor, the-plumbing-leak-of-1994, the-mid-shift-meal-of-a-junior-clerk) suffer the exact same terminal failure.
Gaspard asks for an unremarkable wall socket installed by an apathetic man. The engine delivers a pristine wall with flawlessly diffuse gallery lighting, perfectly soft drop shadows, and delicate, deliberate distress marks above the plate. It is a deadpan Wes Anderson prop.
Gaspard asks for a crude plumber’s sketch on scrap paper, explicitly forbidding "vintage parchment." The engine delivers a warm, vintage yellowed page, perfectly composed coffee stains of mathematically varying opacity, and massive, high-contrast, forensic-style thumbprints. It is a prop from a high-budget escape room.
Finally, Gaspard asks for a man in an ill-fitting suit eating under "offensive" light, stained with mustard. The engine delivers the exact signature of a high-end fashion shoot—a harsh, direct on-camera flash in the style of Juergen Teller, a ruggedly handsome model, and a vibrant, highly saturated pop of graphic yellow mustard that perfectly compliments the blue tie. It is a Balenciaga ad imitating "dirty realism."
The machine is not capable of being bored. It simply scrolls through different genres of expensive commercial photography. The benchmark is completely failed.